It’s hard to tell you who I am. I never see myself through the same set of eyes twice. Some days I see a former athlete who may have pushed too hard a few times; other days I see a young woman continuing to be strong both physically and mentally. One day I may see myself as a wanna be creative-type with nothing but a really messy craft room; the next day I may consider myself an artist and take immense pride in my work. There’s a struggle in there, every day, for which angle is the “right” one.
But recently, I’m starting to learn that perhaps there ISN’T a right way to see myself. Maybe it’s okay to not always be sure – or even to always be changing. Not every day will be a proud one, nor will every day be an elated one. There will be successes and failures and non-starters and great achievements. And I’m starting to think that maybe I’ve been looking for the wrong things.
With this in mind, I’ve started searching for a different kind of life. I am embracing freedom (and the uncertainty being free can create) to open myself to new opportunities, to live the life that leads me where I want to be, and to find the right balance inside of myself. It’s not work-life or social-solitary or inside-outside balance. It’s the delicate line between when to be fierce and when to be serene.